From Purple Shadows, Flame - Artbygordon Poetry- Volume 1

Jain-Inspired by Singer

Farewell to a Muse

Winter Speaks

An Excerpt from From Purple Shadows Flame- Artbygordon.com-

Stay tuned for a link to entire collection-22 pages of poetry on artbygordonblog.com

Memories of the Sea

Some Memories of the Sea

Galveston...I remember the shrimp boats patrolling, we were all so much younger then,

The candy apple greens and the gulls calling,

those blue wooden homes near the shore, or across the street

the sand on your feet, the sound of the hoses spraying every last bit of sand,

you'd always miss some...

and the morning coffee, a ritual,

the quiet I can barely capture these days

all the beauty of that moment

captured, in words and pictures

as memories

fade.

I want to chase the sky

to see the sun descending

and the moments biding time

I want to be a stranger in an unfamiliar place

I want no one to know me

or recognize my face,

I'm already there I guess

the loneliness gave it away

I want to disappear out in the space

the highway

the forgiving highway

guides my way.

So small we are to the sea,

so small, like grains of sand

or the petulant weed.

I remember everything said a ghost crab

at night,

I remember everything a child

standing by my side.

and the sea is so large

compared to us

so powerful

so destructive

but we never get enough.

Out on the sand, memories whispered among the gulls

so small we are to the sea

how small our disagreements

seem.

Florida

Fruits of Ruin

Passionvine

An anomaly of a flower, out of a garden of purple incarnata, one single white flower with a pink center. 

I still haven't found a second one. I can only assume a recessive gene found it's place in the universe and in a garden of purple, a solitary white bloom.

Wisdoms Gained being a Stepdad

Stepparenting: A Life-Changing Experience

steven Gordon linebaugh

4 min read

·

Just now

I started writing this many years ago- I just posted it on Medium.

I don’t prefer the word stepdad. The word minimizes an honorable position in a family. Parenting is the most difficult job; challenging, heartbreaking, and inspiring.

I’ve raised two sons, my first was a stepson-what began as a risky endeavor became an incredible experience, an honor that has changed my life.

Raising kids is not for the faint of heart. You are sculpting individuals who must remain separate from yourself. They should be encouraged to make their own decisions. We hope they choose the best path but often the wrong path is how they discover themselves.

The Perks of Failure

Failures are teaching lessons, integral aspects of an adolescent becoming an adult; the wisdoms they develop are beyond the scope of well-meaning parents.

I learned from my mom and my own stepdad how to show up, to share interests and add adventure in everyday life. I watched someone who wrestled with authority and the lack of it at times.

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Playing the Cards You were Dealt

One of the greatest realizations is you don’t hold all the cards and your hand is limited. You have multiple families all seeking to help and offer assistance in raising a child and your intentions are in question from the start.

Your authority is always in question and you have to walk a thin line to not overstep and yet keep a level of respect.

In those early years, I was the one to get down on the floor and talk open and direct to a two year old. I listened to the excitement he felt about finding a bug or a special rock, I asked questions, I was present.

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Strength is Not Showing the Power You Possess or Lack

When you have limited power you find other ways to direct. You draw a line you refuse to cross to avoid causing more harm. Your discression will seem to others as helpless and indecisive but parenting is not about shear force, it is finesse.

This process taught me a useful parenting technique; ask yourself what your intention is before acting. Being a parent can be clumsy, the child will comply out of respect, fear or guilt. I always erred on respect which others may see as weakness.

Defining intention before acting allows for responding instead of reacting. Do you seek to let go of your stress, pound your chest, or do you want the child to truly listen? This exercise improves how a parent uses their words better maintains calm when others are losing control.

Some times when things get out of control and both parent and child are beyond their limits of reason, one needs to be the adult. One of you will need to de-escalate the situation and I can guarantee it will not be the child.

Tools in your Toolbox Like Cards In Your Hand

You have to be able to be fast on your feet, to adjust if needed, to apologize, regain control when it’s lost, again the child’s job is not to surrender — his job is to test the boundaries, to see who is in control.

Guilt can offer control but often at the detriment of the child and the inevitable hurt and resentment. Guilt is more destructive than it is productive.

Next is fear that will eventually become anger and distrust. A good manager earns their employee’s respect, they don’t need fear to motivate.

Respect is not something you will get from a teenager testing boundaries.

The All-Powerful Hug: Really it Works

Love is the bridge that reaches two sides who’ve become adversaries. Give a teen a hug, both of you have said things, done things, you’ve both lost the battle-you are at deadlock.

A genuine hug means I love you, I don’t like you right now but I love you. I have seen more positive results from this and when I’ve failed to be that bridge I’ve even had a teen remind me — “Why didn’t you just hug me.”

A hug is like saying we can’t agree but we live to fight another day. Parenting teaches us aspects of humanity, about strength and weakness, about honor and empathy. Being a stepdad has inspired me to be better. I feel honored to be a stepdad, a blessing that has changed my life.

I wrote this post and left it here for many years-it was a draft I just rekindled.

I wrote a series of poems years ago about raising my stepson-it was called Shaping the Illusive Form - series of trying to raise my son and the obstacles of being a step dad- please check back as I will be publishing the poetry shortly. 

One poem is about raising a child as an artist- It is probably pretty rough in that it was written so long ago but my summation is as follows. 

A Painter to a Son

My painting sits on an easel,

you want attention,

I'm covered in oil and linseed,

I set your watercolors out,

you ask questions, I try quickly to reply,

it's a tug of war between

your art and mine.

But we persist.

I teach you about form,

you show me color and texture,

unafraid you stain your canvas,

the floor, the wall,

I grimmace as mom walks by

my easel firm and tall.

While you scribble on canvas

your face, your hands,

I look with a bit of aggravation

though I try to understand

between two artists, we struggle

to succeed, all the lessons of being present

you've taught me

You ask me to look too much,

you ask me the same question

too many times to ignore

with all my frustration, I know you could see it,

I clean up the wall and scrub the floor

all that time, I hope I spent well

a moment we'll never restore

You smiled, and put down your canvas

you're not a child anymore.

To Kyle- My Stepson-The Son I Chose

Dead Prey by R.L. Clayton

Ghost: A Photographic Exploration

A presence in the house, you can't see it but you can feel it. All the energy climbs the walls, haunts every beam in the floor. Those creaking stairs, how many stories created themselves in those dark cellars in Orange New Jersey.

Out front, the dark brown factory with broken windows, the cold stone steps, how many stories still to come, ghosts to fuel a child's fertile mind.

The energy of things, how objects take on energy and create a drama that is intangible. The writer, the artist thrives in those in-between places. Driving through the country, selling insurance, there were ghosts on every long country road.

There were things that had histories, I didn't know their stories but I wanted to. The shady cemeteries had voices and memories that were as real as the tall ancient trees that shaded them.

I live between the two worlds, nature and all its' beauty and the darkness on the edge of light. This is where I find my inspiration and excitement, I am haunted by energy and histories.

Let's Talk About Depression: A Conversation Overdue

Depression is a common disorder that affects so many of us. It is a disease that hides beneath misunderstanding, stigma and our need to keep the status quo. What can anyone do for some one that is depressed? It's a difficult subject to approach, especially if you are not familiar it.

I Get Sad Sometimes Too: That's usually the first thing people say and it comes from concern and lack of understanding of the problem. Sadness is a biproduct of depression but it is not depression from my experience.

The way I would describe depression is an absence of the self. What if you could do something that would normally bring you joy and instead of feeling joy you feel nothing. The worst place to be depressed is your favorite place, doing something you love and all you feel is absent.

The initial thought is you will never feel anything or enjoy anything again. If you are without joy and you have everything you want, it doesn't seem like there is any hope.

What do you say to someone who is depressed? So instead of focusing on what not to say, what should the conversation sound like? First, you are not going to fix this for the person, one or two words or even a conversation is not going to solve the problem. All you can hope for is offering some relief for the symptoms.

Be patient: The person who is suffering with depression is looking for relief and is definitely feeling anxious for it to stop. Assure them the feeling will pass, it will get better and assure them the repetition of the same words and thoughts are not an aggravation.

When you are in this state you will try to touch all different thoughts and aspects of how you feel in order to explain the feeling. I have found myself repeating the same question, the same thought. The person listening needs to listen, not judge, not interrupt or decide it's time to get over it.

Ask questions instead of giving answers: Realize the person on the outside of the depressive state usually can not give a defining answer, it is a chemical imbalance or the brains state of trying to recover, often there is no one answer or fix.

Expand on thoughts, memories, hurts and joy-where ever the conversation goes, you are simply the wall that the depressive person can bounce ideas and feelings off in an effort to unravel the mass of feelings. I have noticed it's not just one thing, it tends to be a long and complicated tangle of all kinds of feelings, hurts and fears.

Get Active: Take your friend or family member for a walk while discussing the problem or feeling. Enjoy something outside in nature and realize they are not going to necessarily feel better, again you are only seeking small bits of relief.

A person suffering from depression will usually want to withdraw and sleep, inactivity is often a symptom of the soul licking its wounds. Activity and sunlight can definitely change that, go outside, get lunch, try to exercise against the initial thought.

When I was in college my room mate would insist we go swimming and my initial thought was always not today. I would go and I would thank him for insisting as afterwards I would enjoy a bit of relief. Exercise is actually the one definitive, temporary relief.

A friend in Need: This is not about you but really it could and should be. What a strange thought but if you can shift the focus to your own experiences without preaching and attempt to show the person in the state of depression that you might relate to their state it can often be comforting. The depressed person will usually ask questions, they will seek your experience.

I've noticed when I talk about someone and their problems it not only takes me out of my own darkness but it gives me a bit of insight. As you explain to someone else that there is hope and it's not the end of the world, your own mind and soul can often benefit from standing outside of the initial feeling.

Some companion pieces by Artbygordon

https://imashleymi.com/2018/09/18/can-we-talk-about-depression/

http://www.rheamader.com/steven-linebaugh-writing-artwork-depression-nature/

To join my email newsletter and get news about upcoming book on depression as well as tips for relief please go to www.artbygordon.com