Portrait of a Son

This portrait I will never sign, it was never mine. Even though the colors are familiar and the strokes are uniquely a piece of me, I have barely laid a brush on the canvas. In fact, more of my flaws you will see than any of my strengths.

I have stood in awe, as this work became itself. I have not even the slightest knowledge nor understanding of the medium and yet I welcomed the idea of creating it, a small piece of the artist is that which is created as just a whisper, not too much detail and yet enough to clarify the artists vision.

In this particular work, I must admit the painting has taught me more than I could ever explain. Now as it becomes theirs’, a work that will be shared with the world, I seem to be more clueless than ever before.

I can’t articulate the purpose or vision; it is so far beyond the comprehension of a mere artist. The strokes I have taken in recent seem more discordant than ever, it seems I can only damage the canvas and being an artist and a creative person seems more like a detriment than a virtue.

I am clumsy, my colors are unsure and even worse than all of this, I am quickly becoming irrelevant,  yet the finishing touches beg for my attention. I keep my distance, I need to these days because the closer I get to perfecting the masterpiece, the more I realize it has nothing to do with me and it is not mine. So I won’t be signing this canvas, I wont be taking a bow to the audience no more than I could stand in judgment of my lack of skill-the painting has become itself, I have been barely present and yet the lack of myself has meant everything in its creation.

I won’t sign this work, I will leave it to the audience to decide and they will finish it. They will never see the beauty I see, nor understand its amazing virtue-only I can see this and my deep love for it has made me the worst critic. 

I can only judge myself in its shadow and I never come up as nothing but a hack painter, a novice, a word smith without words to describe… so this painting, this beautiful amazing painting will never be signed.